Of Uninvited Guests and Unexpected Visitors
by phantomavatar08
Summary: When Neal confronts Regina about being left out of the loop in regards to Henry, the Mayor is quick to remind him what parenting actually entails-in her trademark snark, of course. When their spat suddenly takes a turn into serious territory, emotions run high and both are left unaware they've suddenly gained an audience of one. Pre-Swan Queen.


Regina Mills flew down the stairs of 108 Mifflin Dr. with a gray coat in one hand and a red scarf in the other. Henry had his first soccer game of the season and, although it wouldn't begin until later that evening, as the Mayor of Storybrooke it was customary that she be there at least an hour before kick-off.

With her scarf finally set, and her coat properly buttoned, the brunette made a quick dash into the sitting room to retrieve her purse and, demonstrated great poise as she descended the few steps down to the foyer while fishing out her keys.

Regina's steps halted as she threw open the front door to leave, and came face to face with the spawn of Rumplsetillskin. "May I help you with something?" she asked tersely, with a grimace firmly in place.

It was quickly replaced with a look of utter annoyance, as Neal ignored the question and brusquely pushed past the irked Mayor, into her home. Clenching her momentarily slack jaw, she said in an undertone, "By all means, please, come in."

Closing the door and replacing the keys within her handbag, the woman turned to go after the disgruntled man, now loose in her house. It was a short trek, as he had only managed to make his way into her sitting room, and was now pacing in circles before her fireplace. Regina was reminded of a puppy chasing its own tail. _Idiot, _she thought.

When her earlier question continued to go without acknowledgement, the former Queen took in a deep a breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. Setting her purse down on the coffee table, she exhaled. "Well, are you planning on telling me exactly what I owe this ill-timed visit to, or were you just looking for yet another place to hide, for say, another decade or so?"

The biting remark seemed to have the desired effect as Neal finally turned to face her. A cumbersome look-that Regina perceived as an attempt to demonstrate anger-spread across his features while he retrieved, what appeared to be, a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. "What the hell is this?" he bellowed, as he shook the offending item at her.

Placing her hands on her hips, the Mayor took a step closer to the proffered article. After a few seconds of scrutiny, she tilted head in obvious confusion. "I'm inclined to say it's some sort of request form but, if so, it has definitely seen better days-"

"It's a permission slip!" Neal barked, effectively cutting her off.

Surprised-but certainly not intimidated-the brunette simply quirked a perfectly prim eyebrow in response, as she let her hands relax at her sides.

The former thief took her silence as a prompt to continue. "It's Henry's consent form for the school field trip next week." he explained. "I want to know why it's already been signed."

Regina released an exasperated sigh. "Look," she began slowly, "I know you're new to the whole 'parenting' thing but, just for future reference, being signed is _usually_ the entire purpose of a consent form."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it." Neal used the tattered form to point at her accusingly. "I want to know why the only signatures I see are yours and Emma's, and why was I not evan made aware of _this_?" he demanded, tossing the form on the coffee table for emphasis.

The erstwhile Queen remained unfazed, as she took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Not that your little tantrum merits any form of explanation on my behalf," she stressed to the uninvited guest, "But as I am fully aware of your disregard for the laws of this land, I will gladly provide one for you: Not only am I Henry's _mother_, I am his_only. Legal. Guardian._" Each of the last three words was spoken and punctuated, so as to leave no room for question.

Her tone remained unsettlingly calm, as she proceeded to clarify, "The only signature any consent form-regarding _my son-_will ever require, Is **_mine_**."

Regina couldn't suppress the small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, as the man's shoulders visibly slumped. But Neal refused to let go so easily. "Oh yeah? Then what about Emma's signature?"

The Mayor's expression seemed to take on a more congenial nature as she recalled the reason for the other woman's signature. "Ms. Swan happened to have been joining us for dinner that evening, and I assumed it would be nice for our son to see us both taking an active role in his school life."

The practiced ease with which she said 'our son', and the obvious implication that it was used in reference to an established unit he had no place in, were all the fuel needed to reignite the man's outrage.

"Damn it, Regina, I'm his **father**!"

Her arms crossed tightly across her chest, lest she do something rash in her current state of irritation, the former regal adopted a feigned look of blatant surprise. "You don't say?" she asked rhetorically. "Answer me this," she continued, taking several steps forwards, "what are his grades like this semester?"

"Oh, come on!" was the affronted response.

"No!" pressed the brunette. "Please, enlighten me with your boundless paternal wisdom."

Neal fixed her with a glare, and huffed, "He's a smart kid, okay? They're probably really good."

"Probably." repeated Regina derisively. "Tell me, who's the school principal? What's Henry's favorite subject?"

Ignoring the befuddled look on his face, Regina simply continued. "You know what? Forget the scholastic details. What hobbies does he partake in?"

The former thief stuffed his hands in his pockets, shrugged his shoulders, and offered a dubious "Playing outside…?"

Regina sent an unimpressed scowl his way, as she advanced. "Why don't we just stick to the basics, shall we? What allergies does have?"

Although he was unable to provide an answer, Neal refused to break eye-contact, as the Mayor continued with her impromptu interrogation.

"Is he right or left hand dominant?"

Silence reigned, as he continued to glare and Regina proceeded to deliver the final blow.

"What is Henry's _middle name_, Neal?"

With an agitated sigh, the man finally looked down, and grumbled out an answer. "I dunno…"

Arms still folded around her middle, she leaned in towards him and whispered, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Refusing to meet her gaze, he repeated himself. "I said, I don't know."

Vindication spread across Regina's features, as she realigned her stance once again. "That's right, you pretentious, self-consecrated custodian. You don't." the Mayor pressed on. "I wonder if your knowledge deficit, has anything to do with your conspicuous absence the last eleven-or-so years of his life?"

"Oh yeah! And exactly whose fault is that?" he spat out, petulantly. "You know, maybe, if the _original _member of Team Mom had bothered to tell me she was pregnant, I could've been there instead of you."

Regina scoffed in incredulity at the overgrown teenager's audacity. "Maybe if you had bothered to visit her in jail, after you were conveniently convinced by Pinocchio to let her take the fall for _your_ transgressions, she may have considered sharing the news." she shot back.

"Otherwise," she continued, ignoring his attempt to respond, "exactly how did you expect her to know where to find you, dear?" The brunette stepped up to him and whispered, "Was Emma meant to somehow get her hands on some magical, messenger pigeon with which to send you a postcard? Something that read along lines of 'Greetings from Prison!' and signed simply with 'Thank you, for your donation.' Is that it?"

"You know what, Regina? Screw you!" lashed out Neal, aggravation evident in his tone. He mimicked her earlier action and, leaning well into her personal space, sneered "You wouldn't even be relevant to Henry's life if Emma hadn't been too damn insecure to keep ou-"

The reaction from the former Queen had been so swift and unexpected, Neal hadn't even fully registered exactly what it was that had just occurred until, the stinging heat- that head spread throughout the entire left side of his face-had given way to a dull, warm, throbbing.

Regina, momentarily stunned by her own actions, was slow in retracting her outstretched hand, but quick to let her voice be heard.

"Don't you **_ever _**diminish Emma's self-less and courageous decision, by attributing it to simple case of 'First-time mommy' jitters! She chose to give him his _best_ chance, over her _very_ own happiness, and in that moment she became an infinitely better parent than you can ever hope to be."

In that moment, Neal could have sworn he was in the presence of the Evil Queen. All traces of the suburban soccer-mom had vanished, and whether they had been wiped away by the venom dripping from every syllable she had spoken, the subtle way her entire frame shook as if barely containing her rage, or the blazing inferno of indignation reflected in her eyes, he would probably never know.

When he swallowed visibly, reached a hand up to touch his cheek with trepidation, and nodded solemnly, Regina took in a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. Exhaling slowly, she looked down and began to readjust her scarf, which had been made errant by her previous physicality.

"Now if you'll excuse me, my son will be starting in his first game this evening," she boasted, "and I do not wish to be late."

The Mayor sent Neal one last look, that could be describes as dismissive-at best, and headed for the door. However, she made it only just past the room's threshold when she remembered her purse.

When she turned on a dime to retrieve it, she was stunned to find yet that at some point during her argument with the over-grown man-child, another unexpected visitor had found their way into the mansion and was currently standing, back against the wall, beside the room's entryway with her very own version of the thousand-yard stare.

Regina gasped in surprise, "Emma?"

Neal quickly made his way to the foyer at the mention of the blonde's name.

Emma's green eyes were wide, and shining with unshed tears, as she looked from one brunette to the other, her mouth agape.

Regina, for her part, shook her head slightly in an attempt to regain her sense of speech, and addressed her again. "Emma, I…uh, wha-what are you doing here? she stammered; her brow slightly furrowed and all fire extinguished in her eyes.

The Savior latched onto the erstwhile Queen's voice, as if it were a life raft, and used it to find her way out of the tumultuous sea of emotions she currently found herself in. Blinking away the tears, she swallowed in an effort to get her words past the knot in her throat.

Finally locking eyes with Regina, she furrowed her own brow as she attempted to answer the Mayor's question. "I, uhm…" She cleared her throat and tilted her head before trying again.

"I was on my way to the game when, uhm, it occurred to me that the Kid might, you know, enjoy it more if his parents showed up, to his first starting match, together…" She trailed off, as she realized how warm her face had suddenly become.

Emma looked down at her boots and took a few deep breaths, hoping that the red tinge would fade from her face quickly.

The Sheriff placed her hands in her back pockets and looked back up, leaning back on her heels slightly. "I wasn't planning on just straight-up using the key you gave me, I swear." she reassured, before the Mayor could say anything. The blonde pulled her left hand out from her pocket and held it outstretched before her, palm-side up, to signal the other woman. "As a matter of fact, I was going to knock on the door and, totally wait on the porch until you let me in, of course-"

"Of course." repeated the older woman, with only slight mirth in her eyes.

"-but then I heard you arguing with someone and by the tone of your voice I could tell it definitely wasn't Henry, so sheriff-mode kicked in and, well, here we are." Emma finished lamely, as she glanced at the man still standing with them in the foyer, hurt rippling across her features momentarily.

When she looked back at Regina, she was met with the softest of looks, the likes of which, Emma had been convinced, were only reserved for their son. They held each other's gaze for a beat longer, before the brunette decided to say something, lest things become more awkward than they already were.

"I think it's a wonderful idea…Us arriving together to cheer him on; he'd love that." she conceded, with a radiant smile. Emma simply returned the smile, in response, as the visibly relaxed.

"Yeah, I think it's a great idea too."

Regina whipped her head back at the intrusion, and pinned Neal with a glare, yet again. She scowled and took in a deep breath but, just as she was about tell him exactly where he could shove his opinion, Regina felt a warm hand on her arm. She looked over to find Emma was now standing directly at her side.

"Actually, Neal," intoned the Sheriff, "I think you should probably just head back to Granny's."

At Emma's words, Neal's ever-present look of confusion became more pronounced. "What? You just said Henry's parents should arrive together."

A wicked smirk crossed her lips before, she narrowed her eyes and said, "Oh don't worry, we will."

Turning back to face Regina, her smirk broke into another smile. "All set, Madame Mayor?" she asked.

Deciding to forgo her purse completely, the older woman couldn't help grinning at the title as she responded, "By all means, Ms. Swan, lead the way."

As they turned and made their way to the door, they heard Neal call out to them. "So you're really just going to leave me here?" he questioned.

"Why not?" Regina called back, "It's not like I'm particularly attached to any of my timepieces."

Emma just rolled her eyes at the comment, as she held the front door open for the older woman to pass. She then turned back herself, and exclaimed, "Hey,"

Neal glanced up at her with an expectant look. "Yeah?"

"Don't forget to put some ice on that." She indicated his face, "I think your head's starting to swell."

She threw one last pointed look at him, before closing the door behind her and joining Regina on the porch.

"So, your car; I drive?" she asked.

The Mayor raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "Maybe next time."

Emma pursed her lips, as she thought it over. "I think I can live with that."


End file.
